out in space

(OPEN YOUR MIND)

more writing

im just going to write
nothing important
just cleaning again
i eat allot of cereal
i had three bowls about a half hour ago
special k satisfaction.
i had a little conversation with my mom that went like this:
me: the "k" in special k stands for "kids"
mom: k mart?
me: what?
i chuckled
im still walking every night
i went out a bit early today
had a cig
cause im so "bad ass" like that.
it rained on me
for about three minuets
it was refreshing
the rain cleans me
if you like rain, you like life.
if you like life, you like rain.
i had a good drama class today
just told jokes
and sat
and laughed
me: why couldnt the cucumber stand up?
me: because its a cucumber.
all: ha ha ha ha
i made that joke
because im so "stand up"
this lady came to my door
i recognized her because it wasnt her first time doing so
that conversation went like this,
me: can i help you?
lady: my cat is stuck in your shed again
me: i will get the keys
she is so white trash
it warms my soul.
i cant choose who i should date
theres three candidates.
one boy
two girls
im not using names
because they may stumble across this
fat chance.
but, i think i will go with one of the gals
she seems to like me
her: keep my paint dry
her: breathe moisture on it
and
her: thank you.
out of nowhere she thanked me
it was a good moment.
i went to my friends barbacue
no names.
long story short
i smoked a cigar with someone,
had a beer,
and the band got the police called on us
because we were too loud
then i went to see tv on the radio
at the burton cummings
it was okay, kind of short
good night.
stellar.
radical.
solid.
i type too much
and still, too little.
catch you on the "flip side"

later.

i need to type

i have this overwhelming
crippling
intoxicating urge
to just sit and type
type words
phrases
nothing
nonsense
empty my head
crack open and spill
unleash
un-leash
take off my leash
remove the restraining leash
and just run
run free
run through a field of rich text and open thoughts
empty thoughts
unfinished thoughts
deep thoughts
bad thoughts.
bad.
thoughts.
bad.
bad.
bad.
life is bleak.
as of now it is bleak.
for reasons i can not say on the internet
something...
structure is falling apart
men are no longer men
men are children
and children
are children
i am no child
i cant be a child anymore
forced into adult
adult.
shut up.
i started something
well, started doing something
something bad.
i started smoking
i know its bad
i know its un-healthy
un-ethical
un-just
un-measurable
un-doable
un-trustworthy
i just need a vice right now
a vice.
maybe a vice will hold me together
that's what vices do
hold together
tight
too tight
dehydration
occurs
too often
im dizzy
im disoriented
or maybe just miss lead
walking
i have been walking
every night around woseley
people watching
shifty people
kind people
concerned people
high people
i have crushes on too many people
i cant choose
wait untill the last possible moment
then strike
then strike.
strike.

i cant go to mars

splended times
sinfull times

i cant go to mars

hatefull times
heartfull times

i cant go to mars

random times
regretfull times

i cant go to mars

disturbing times
distrusting times

i cant go to mars

exotic times
extended times

i cant go to mars

working times
wanting times

i cant go to mars

learning times
lusting times

i cant go to mars

alone times
alert times

i cant go to mars

killer times
kinky times

i cant go to mars

nothing times
nifty times

i cant go to mars

indignant times
ignorant times

i cant go to mars

unusual times
unsatisfying times

i cant go to mars

frightfull times
fuckup times

i cant go to mars

captured times
craving times

i cant go to mars

blissfull times
bashfull times

i cant go to mars

thriller times
thanksfornothing times

i cant go to mars

viscous times
vengfull times

i cant go to mars

youthfull times
yearnfull times

i cant go to mars

jearkoff times
jousting times

i cant go to mars

painfull times
pitifull times

i cant go to mars

masculine times
mating times

i cant go to mars

open times
off times

i cant go to mars

queer times
quenching times

i cant go to mars

gallant times
graphic times

i cant go to mars

zac times
zebra times

I CAN NOT GO TO MARS

or think of two words that start with x

strait line

i keep walking in a strait line
i have been for most of my life
i haven't veered away from that line
except that one time
and it ended
it ended in a cliff
and i was hanging there
wanting to let go
and just fall
fall in a strait line
towards the end
but then i walked away from the cliff
stood by my strait line
examined it
thought about it
dreamed about it
then i got back on the line
and kept walking strait
strait
where is this line headed?
and do i want to end up there
for the rest of forever
i need to get out of this line
and into a maze
with twists and turns
you never know where you will end up
and one day you might make it out
and that prize will seem breathtaking
because i will know i went through allot to get it
instead of going in a strait line
i hate this line
i loathe it
i want to bury it in a deep, dark hole
and never unearth it
and go to my maze
i need a maze
but first
i need a shovel

only one person

only one person reads my blog <3!
but im okay with that
i dont need everyone and everything to hear what i say
i'm content with my thoughts
and its nice to get them down
even if i don't write often
i'm like a forgotten pen pal
and when you hear from him its a little treat
even if he has nothing interesting to say
and he repeats himself
and says the same thing over and over
and wont get off the subject
but doesn't notice he is doing it
so he keeps on going
i like to wear scarves
i have eight of them
i put all of them on at one time
and i was very warm
there is a lesson in that
don't ask me what it is
there just is
and you should be cool with that
don't hate
appreciate
appreciate life
and all its wonders
the wonders that are slowly disappearing
melting away
like a candle
i feel really deep right now
i like to live life with my shoes on the wrong feet
when i eat watermelon, i eat the seeds
dandy lions are just small sunflowers
don't tie a knot, tie a bow
you didn't sink my battle ship, you son of a bitch
i didn't forget, i just forgot to remember
make life your bitch, because everyone likes dogs
peace out

coffee?

sitting in the cafe.
sitting.
waiting.
smell of coffee and cinnamon buns suround,
like exaust from a bus as it goes by.
sitting with his feet,
toes crossed under the table,
legs strait,
bum on the edge of the chair.
he glances over at the little menue on the table.
lunch special.
i dont like mushrooms,
better not get the lunch special.
legs bent,
bum on the whole chair now.
elbows on the table.
hands clasped tight,
as if they were glued to one another.
eyes are glued to the person at the front counter.
what is he doing?
opening the till?
no,
closing the till.
slides something into his pocket.
verry jittery,
glancing around,
like a mouse when it hears a small noise.
wiskers twitching.
back to the menue.
maby just a coffee.
two sugars,
one cream.
what time is it?
four past two.
looks away from his watch,
out the frosted window.
there he is,
the one i have been waiting ten minuets for.
waiting.
sitting.
he sees me as he walk in,
mist comming in the door,
as if the building is breathing into the cold.
he looks at his feet,
wiping them on the little coffee shop mat.
first the right foot.
then the left.
then the right again.
i wave,
but he isnt looking.
now he is.
i wave again.
he waves back.
hey he says.
voice cracks a little,
as if he hadnt spoken yet today.
maby he hadnt.
i sure havent.
hi.
my voice sounded faint,
so i said it again.
hi.
that was better.
he sits across from me,
and i shiver.
we sit for a moment,
and i begin to speak.



that is a story
i just wrote
right now
out of my head
its kinda bad
and poorly written
but if you like it
give me a comment
i will write the rest later
in another blog
stay tuned