i need to type

i have this overwhelming
crippling
intoxicating urge
to just sit and type
type words
phrases
nothing
nonsense
empty my head
crack open and spill
unleash
un-leash
take off my leash
remove the restraining leash
and just run
run free
run through a field of rich text and open thoughts
empty thoughts
unfinished thoughts
deep thoughts
bad thoughts.
bad.
thoughts.
bad.
bad.
bad.
life is bleak.
as of now it is bleak.
for reasons i can not say on the internet
something...
structure is falling apart
men are no longer men
men are children
and children
are children
i am no child
i cant be a child anymore
forced into adult
adult.
shut up.
i started something
well, started doing something
something bad.
i started smoking
i know its bad
i know its un-healthy
un-ethical
un-just
un-measurable
un-doable
un-trustworthy
i just need a vice right now
a vice.
maybe a vice will hold me together
that's what vices do
hold together
tight
too tight
dehydration
occurs
too often
im dizzy
im disoriented
or maybe just miss lead
walking
i have been walking
every night around woseley
people watching
shifty people
kind people
concerned people
high people
i have crushes on too many people
i cant choose
wait untill the last possible moment
then strike
then strike.
strike.